Baby Loss Awareness – my perfect baby

In March 2015, the day after I finished for maternity leave, my baby’s heart stopped beating. She was 35 weeks old. Two days later I gave birth to my daughter Lauren. She was beautiful. Totally perfect.

Lots of cuddles

Thanks to a cuddle cot we were able to spend 24 hours with her. Those 24 hours are some of the most precious hours of my life.  We took photos, washed and dressed her and had so many cuddles with her.

In the weeks that followed, the total heartache we felt was joined with anger and questions. Why had this happened to us? One of the leaflets we were given as we left the hospital was about Sands. About 7 weeks after Lauren’s birth we attended a Sands support group.

It’s good to talk

At the group there were a few befrienders. These were people that had been through exactly what we had and had since trained to help people like us. There was no pressure to talk but we introduced ourselves and Steve told our story.

Just being in a room with people who totally got what we were going through was such a help. Knowing we weren’t alone and that the rollercoaster of emotions we were going through was totally normal.

Sands – a lifeline

We attended monthly meetings and our Sands family became our lifeline. It was clear that some friends and colleagues had no idea how to talk to us anymore, not because they didn’t care, but because they found it so hard and didn’t want to ‘upset’ us. The truth is, we were already upset but avoiding the subject made us feel worse.

We want to talk about Lauren. We want to keep her memory alive.  Sands gave us this opportunity. Several events are organised throughout the year so that our babies can be remembered.

Giving something back

In January 2018 I got the opportunity to become a committee member for the Huddersfield and Halifax Sands. It’s my way of giving back and thanking the charity that helped us through the most awful time of our lives. I now regularly help organise these events and fundraise.

Lauren – Stillborn, but still born.

Support 

For more information or if you need support from SANDS, a stillbirth and neonatal death charity, visit their website.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.